Tears won't wash this away...

Hey, it's been a while, you. I just want you to know how deeply you are missed. It's like the world is somehow a sadder place without you in it. I wish I knew that crying would mend these wounds and give you life. I try so hard to leave this heartache in God's hands, but damn it, this pain is overwhelming and I'm not strong enough to forfeit it to His hands every day. Today was hard. It's the first time I've really cried about your death. I miss you. I hurt for those who also grieve for your death. I wish I knew you could read this; or hear me when I cry; or see us just one more time. Sometimes I'm so mad at you, but I've never stopped loving you. Maybe one day we'll see you again. I can only pray.

I love you, with all my heart.