Dying Inside and Out

Death of those we care for and love deeply affects a lot of us. It comes with painful memories, loneliness, and questions. It also comes with a forgetfulness. We forget that this isn't what we were made for, this dying thing.

We weren't born to die. We were made to live, and live abundantly at that. Death wasn't part of the original plan. Pain wasn't part of the original plan. God made Adam and Eve in a beautiful garden and gave them a rich abundant life, physically and spiritually. Until sin and death entered the picture. Death and evil sought to take captive the very life of God's most sacred creation, us.

I've lost loved ones and close friends. I know the constant heart ache; the waves of crushing pain; the feeling of hating, despising, the world for continuing on without that person. But even with all that hurt and anguish, I can't let those emotions keep me from seeing God. I don't understand His ways. He says, "my ways are not your ways." I trust Him. I trust Him with my heart ache, with my doubts, with my seemingly unanswerable questions about His nature and evil. God tells me that one day, we will stop dying. One day, we won't hurt anymore. One day, we'll have answers. One day, we'll have true rest. One day, we will be restored to Eden.

It's too late for me to talk to the people in my life who have passed and didn't know God and Christ's sacrifice. But there are others in my life. There's now. I trust God will use my pain and experience to tell others the Truth. I pray He uses me wherever I am, despite my own shortcomings.

Our physical bodies will one day perish, but our souls will live on and have their truest desire. We'll get what we want in the end - an eternity with God or without Him. With Him, there is hope, love, and peace. Without Him, there is nothing but seeking that which you can no longer obtain - a relationship with God. What do you want?