I recently read the book Blue Like Jazz. If you haven't read it, it's a little bit like Shane Claiborne's The Irresistible Revolution. It's about a radical change in our thinking toward Christianity and what that looks like in the life of the author. While I don't agree with everything Don Miller wrote, his writing does warrant a little cognitive processing on my end. The rest of this post is predominately about the parts of his work I found made me stop and think a bit.
In the second chapter of Miller's book there's this part where Don recaps a conversation he had with his friend, Tony. They're discussing some of the horrid things going on in the Congo when Tony poses the question to Miller "Are you capable of murder or rape or any of the other stuff taking place over there?" After a bit of discussion, Miller finally says, "What you are really saying is that we have a sin nature, like the fundamentalist Christians say." That stood out to me.
This isn’t Miller’s final thought on this matter of our sinful natures, but just that posed question made me think – what do I think about our human nature as far as sin goes? Honestly, probably because I AM human, I wanted to think that maybe we aren’t bad, but that some people just “go bad”. But if we aren’t innately sinful, then why do we have to be taught to be good? I think it’s obvious if you look around that we, as humanity, are broken. There’s really no denying it. I love that we aren’t stuck there. We aren’t hopeless in such a lost and less than hopeful world.
As I continued to read, Miller stated something else that I’ve thought, but never really heard before – “I am the problem.” My first thought was “Am I?” Am I? I claim to be part of the body of Christ but how often am I His hands, His feet, His body? Probably not near enough. I, we, can blame the problems of this often horrible world on “them” and “they” but when will we as a whole of humanity change ourselves? It seems cliché to say, but Ghandi was on to something when he said, “be the change you want to see in the world” and C.S. Lewis too when he said:
I never had a selfless thought since I was born.
I am mercenary and self-seeking through and through;
I want God, you, all friends, merely to serve my turn.
I cannot crawl one inch outside my proper skin;
I talk of love – a scholar’s parrot may talk Greek –
But, self-imprisoned, always end where I begin.”
We can’t whine and blame fingers; instead we should step up however we can. We are the problem, but we can also be part of the solution. This world won’t be perfect, but with Christ in us, we can move in the right direction.
With all this thought about sin and problems, I have to wonder, “Were we ever suppose to be good?” There’s just so much broken in this world that it hardly seems likely. But I look to my Bible and I’m certain we were. God made us in His image and He said that we were good. He was pleased with us. But we are easily tempted, as we saw with Adam and Eve. We found ourselves broken in the garden and then removed from its beauty. I flipped around in my Bible some more, saddened that we just seem so broken. I found myself reading about Christ. I know He came to redeem us and reconcile us to God, but what does that mean for us now until He returns again? I looked at Paul of Tarsus. He was a horrible man who persecuted Christians. He thought he was right, but after an encounter with God, he realized he was part of the problem with the world. He wanted to be as God intended him to be. He became a fierce warrior in the name of Christ. What I’m trying to say with this bit about Paul is that with Christ, the good in us can shine through. We weren’t meant to be broken but the mark of sin has left us this way. God offers an alternative.
Basically, that’s what I thought about while I read the second chapter of the book. Besides this theme of sin in the book, there’s also a bit about love, which I suppose you’d expect in Christian literature. Something Miller said of interest to me was that “we do what we love to do.” That beget the obvious questions “what do I do?” and “what do I say I love?” I SAY I love Christ and His people and I SAY I want to give my life to that, but does what I DO even remotely support that? The more I thought about it the more I realized how selfish I really am. Ever since I got back to America, I’ve had this subtle attitude that this place owed me something. I’ve not be frivolous with my money or anything crazy, but rather, I’ve acted under the assumption that I should have a comfortable, easy life, which is contrary to everything I claim to believe. I SAY I love people but lately it seems I only love myself, and not in a humble good way.
Miller said something else that I’ve felt the weight of quite a bit lately – “we have trouble living within a system where no one owes anybody anything.” I read that and just started thinking about how true it is. So many of us hate the idea of someone doing something for us that we cannot repay. We feel we owe them, even if they insist the opposite. It made me think of my relationship with Christ. Why do I have so much trouble accepting His love, mercy, and forgiveness? I want to do it myself. I don’t want to need Him. I easily recognize my need for Him, but I don’t WANT to need him. I’m a really prideful person and I don’t want to need help from anyone for anything. It just feels so… wrong. It feels wrong to accept Christ’s death on the cross because I know it was for me. He died so I didn’t have to and, while I’m incredibly thankful I don’t have to, I have this subconscious need to prove I can save myself. I think it would be incredible if we could live in a system where no one owed anyone anything and just accept it.
A final thing Miller wrote was “the thing about Tom Toppins (who this is isn’t relevant) is that he really believed things. He wasn’t swayed.” I’ve thought about this before too. How unbelievable would our Christian family be if we weren’t swayed by what others wanted us to be, if we truly believed what we say we do?! It’d be magnificent. I think this generation is bringing this to life in a lot of ways (though that could just be within the sphere of Christians I know). I’ve seen so many young Christians step up and be the body of Christ even when it costs them greatly. It blows my mind, but then I remember, they believe the things they say they do and with passion they walk with Christ, unmoving. It makes me reconsider my walk with Christ. There have been times I’ve stood up and been unmoving in what I believe; times when I would follow Christ wherever He went. But where is that currently? It’s wrapped up in my selfishness. Pray for my heart.
Don Miller’s Blue Like Jazz was an interesting read. I didn’t agree with all of it but what did stand out to me really made me take a look at the life with Christ I’ve been living. It made me start thinking about how serious and beautiful a relationship with Christ really is. God uses all sorts of things to open our blind eyes and heal our souls. He’s a great God and Father.
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