A Holy Sunrise

The sun rose this morning, as it has every morning before it and as it shall every morning until the end of time. I sat in my favorite spot after work, as I have many mornings before, and I was given the blessing of watching the beautiful birth of light grow out of darkness. The sky was painted with stunning, elegant colors; the birds were flying so prettily within the light; and the sun rays broke over the few trees that were near me. It was such an astounding morning view. It took my breath away and I found my heart worshipping the Creator of the glory before me. It was at this moment that Yahweh felt the need to speak to me about my recent struggle with truly loving others.

This is for you, My Princess. This is an expression of My love for you. There's nothing I wouldn't do to show you that, Beloved.

-is silent-

Speak to me, My child. Speak to me of your heart.

Yahweh, You love me. You love me when I'm most unworthy and running from You. You've shown me the greatest expression of love through Jesus. So, what am I missing? If I am so loved by You, why do I find my love for others beyond lacking and shallow?

My Love, when you begin to see people as more than objects to be changed and fixed and begin to see them as the precious souls I sent My Son for, your love will change. Lead them to Me, let Me change their hearts (remember Pharaoh?) and heal them. But you, My Dear One, love them how they need it most. Stop waiting for opportunities to love when they are right in front of you, Beloved. Stop solely seeing their actions and see their souls.

-is silent again-

Child, what else troubles your heart?

Abba, sometimes I think I'm really right. Sometimes I think I know better than the ones I talk to. I get frustrated when they don't see as I do. I am sorry; I know this is my arrogance and pride airing themselves loudly, but that's how I feel.

Dear, truly loving others isn't about being right. It's not about you and it's not about expressing your own ideas of who I am. It's about leading them to Me and the life of eternal freedom I can give them. It's about bringing them to worship Me. Let Me show you: My Son and I are one. He is Me, and I, Him. He came to earth and instead of demanding His own way, He gave His life to serving others, out of love. He did this all the way up to My greatest expression of love for you, My Beloved - the cross. Look to My Son. By doing so, you'll see what it means to have a humble heart of servitude and love, Beloved.

I love You, Yahweh. Thank You for this. Thank You for Jesus. Thank You for forgiving me and loving me even when I'm so lost about so many things.

I then found myself wrapped in the warmth and colors of the enchanting Iraqi sunrise. It was like being hugged by God Himself. A soft wind passed over my face, as if to gently kiss my cheek. I felt more love bursting within me than I'd felt in so long. It was so beautiful and holy. I'm not perfect, but I'm loved wholly by the One who is.

This Heart Has Hope

This heart beats
with a faint sad beat.
This heart beats out
tears,
anguish,
despair,
loneliness,
and dwindling hope.
This heart beats for
a Light,
a promise of a better tomorrow,
the hope its sad self can still bring to so many,
a Love everlasting.
This heart has felt
so much
so quickly
but this heart,
it does not beat on its own.
The faint beating
is the sound of
the Creator
breathing new life
into this sad heart.

Eye Opener

I just realized something.
I knew God leading me to the desert would be a spiritual experience to behold. Many great men before me have gone into the desert and come out better for it. But these men are not sent to the desert without trials and temptations. They suffer in some way. Yet, all the while, they give thanks to God and find joy to shout His praises. Have I forgotten Who leads me so quickly? I've forgotten. I've failed miserably at withstanding temptations. I've fallen into sin, despair, and anguish, but of my own accord. I have been tried and found less than true. However, because of the sacrifice my Savior made for me, I am not doomed to be stuck here. I can be redeemed. I can be forgiven. I can get my heart back and it can be full again.

Satan has filled my head with lies. He lies when he says I am not loved. When he says I am alone. When he says that if I were to never exist, it wouldn't make a bit of difference to anyone. When he says to give in to whatever my body commands, to become my body's slave. When He says my God is a liar and fake and cannot save me. He lies!

Yahweh, save me. Open my eyes. Shield my heart. Hear my cries. Rescue me. Help me withstand temptation. Fill me with Your everlasting joy and unending love. Forgive me for what I've done and will do. Teach me what is right and how to march upon the path of righteousness. In my human frailty, I love You.