Forgive me; Comfort me; Thank You

God. Dad. Father.
I've failed.
I'm so sorry.
I need your forgiveness.
I am weak.
The things I want to do, I do not.
The things I don't want to do, I do.
Where will it end!?!
I feel doomed to be trapped where I am forever.
That isn't the case but that is what it feels like.
I know my words might not mean much,
but I'm so very sorry for who I've become
and what I've done.

Dad, I not only need your forgiveness,
but also your comfort.
It's been almost three years exactly since Corry died.
I can still feel the pain of that day.
It's echoing through my being
and burning to my core.
Words are hopeless at capturing the hurt.
However painful it might be for us,
I can't imagine how hard it is for Chris and his parents.
I beg you to continue to comfort them during this time.
Please.
Comfort all of us and heal our pain if it is your will.
Let it be your will, not ours.

Father, also, even though my soul feels it is in a rough place,
thank You for the trees.
For the hills.
For the rain.
For the beautiful green chlorophyll.
For that magnificent rainbow you showed me the other day.
For my very breath.
For my mind.
For your love.
But most of all, thank You for Your Son. He died that I might know you and worship you.
I fail so often and I feel so unworthy, but I know in my heart You see me as your princess.
I am the daughter of the King. I take comfort in that.
Thank you for my redemption.

In my frail humanity, I love You.