My Hero

Growing up, I had a younger sister just far enough away in age that I found her not worth my time. Not in a "I'm better than you" way, but the typical "I'm 5, you're still a baby, I don't like you yet" way. I also had a brother close enough in age, and facial features, that we could lie and say we were fraternal twins. These were the two that I grew up with, but neither were my heros or one I confided in. That role belonged to my eldest brother.

He was 13 years older than myself and, from my perspective, he was an infallible savior. He didn't grow up with me, but somehow my brother captivated my attention. Whatever he did, I wanted to do, no matter how improbable or illogical. Whatever he thought, I tended to think. Wherever he went, whatever he experienced, I always felt the need to follow. I knew he would never steer me wrong. And as I grew in stature and wisdom, I realized he was someone I could go to for advice on real world situations.

Last weekend, he and I were driving back to our hometown from Louisville. We had driven separately, as we had come from two different parts of the state, and naturally I followed behind him on the way back. During the two hour drive, there was a treacherous rainstorm that we ran head-on into. At times, I could see nothing at all, for all of the rain pounding so hard on my windshield. The only thing I could do was barely make out the outline of his car in front of me. Whenever he switched lanes, I switched lanes; whenever he braked, I braked; when he increased speed, I did the same. I knew that as long as I did exactly as my brother silently instructed, I would be safe. I would get home just fine, whether I could see anything else or not.

I thought about all of this as we neared our city and the rain eased up. The worst was over, we were safe, and all was well. I thought about how the way I loved, trusted, and sought wisdom from my brother was exactly how God wanted me to chase after Him. God wants my complete affections. He wants me to follow Him with the same trusting faith I have in my brother. He wants me to fully know that if I follow Him and His law of Love, that I'll come out of the storm perfectly safe. He wants my silly stories, my mess-ups, my broken-hearts, my laughter, my thoughts. He wants to share on my adventures, to be my guide, to be my wisdom, to be my Savior. My God wants me. Passionately, unreservedly, unrelentingly. It's so crazy to me that as much as I adore my brother, God's affections for me are so much greater.

My brother taught me to be a leader, to be a social chameleon, to be facetious. He loves me even when I do terrible things. He picks me up when I cry. He guides me out of messes. But how much more so does my God want to be that driving force in my life? I love God, I really do, but sometimes, I fail to put Him where He belongs in my life.

Yahweh, thank You so much for my brother and all he's taught me and done for me. I've been so blessed to know him. But Adonai, please forgive me for, at times, putting him on the pedestal where only You belong. Continue to show me what it means to follow You wholeheartedly and without reservations. Take this life and heart and break them until they resemble something that looks more like the heart You desire. I love You.