Dear Cousin,

I remember when I was younger, you were one of my heros. You were my big, older cousin in the army that I could look up to. I admired you and your strength. I remember cherishing the times you were allowed away from post long enough to visit me. I loved the few conversations we got have about me maybe joining the army one day. I loved the stories you told me.

All those memories make it seem so unbelievable that you're gone now... at 35. Why, Cousin? Why did you do that? Why? What were you thinking!?! Didn't your wife and the kids matter? Do you see her broken heart? Do you see her pain? How could you leave her, the kids, all of us? You were so loved and cherished. So loved.

You made a horrible decision. You can't fix it this time. Sometimes I'm so angry at you for leaving like that. I'd like to hope you're in Heaven, but honestly, I don't know where you are. My anger can't change your death. It's been three months and I still miss you.

I still love you. My heart grieves for you and your wife and children.
May you rest in peace, my dear cousin.

Love,
Tiff