God is Good

I can't sleep. I haven't slept a bit all night. This has become a normal occurrence for me but tonight there's a reason for it. I can't stop thinking about what just transpired less than two hours ago:

I met this man. He was man of 62, a former Marine who'd been in the Vietnam War, and he has a 39 year old mentally disabled son. This man's name is Jack. Jack taught me something tonight. Something really powerful. He taught me that God watches over His children. He taught me that God is in control. He taught me that even when I don't know what God has in store, it's going to be all right.

How did I meet Jack?

I was eating a 2:30am snack from McDonald's in a downtown park with a friend. Jack, with his cart, rolled by us. We offered him the third burger we'd bought (despite there only being two of us, we just, for some reason, bought three) and some water we'd just bought at the Speedway we'd returned the movie to (returning said movie was our main reason for being out so late/early). Jack found out we were Christians and he was thrilled. We all began to converse, but mostly we were interested in Jack's life. He told us about the church he'd been going to, about being in the Marines, about his son, and about why he was out at such and hour. See, we thought he was just another homeless man, but come to find out, he wasn't at all. He had a home, but not enough money or items or food to care for both himself and his disabled son. Jack's determination and joy in Christ was awe-inspiring. He was just so sure that God would take care of him. He was a happy old man and I immediately came to love him for his spirit.

My friend and I offered him a spare blanket we had in our car, an old military poncho, about $9 in cash, and some advice about where more water spickets were downtown. As our conversations wound down and warm goodbyes were about to be said, Jack asked if we could pray. He said he always prayed with new people he met if they would let him. He wanted God to be with us. Again, I was just blown away. So we prayed. He asked me to start, I did. And we went around our little circle, each praying and thanking God for His mysterious ways and praising Him for His provisions and asking for Jack's protection.

As we parted ways, I couldn't help but want to do more for Jack. My friend and I went home, which was about 4 blocks from there, and found some more bottled water and a few canned goods that wouldn't be missed. But when we went out to find him to give it to him... we couldn't find him. We drove for an hour around downtown looking everywhere we could think. But still, no Jack. How could such a frail man with a relatively heavy cart move so quickly? It was beyond us.

Now what are we gonna do?

We think we know how we can find him, and if it's God's will, we'll meet him again. In the mean time, if anyone who reads this could just say a prayer for Jack, that'd be great. Pray that God will continue to provide for our friend and Jack will continue to inspire people with his simple but profound ways.

And why is this whole ordeal so cool?

The thing about the encounter with Jack is that if just ONE thing that happened throughout my day had NOT happened, this encounter would not have happened. If I had not of went home when I did that morning; if I had not of gone to the lake and gotten super hungry thus getting food and renting the movie with my friend; if we had not of run later than normal thus putting back the time we took the movie back; if we had not of taken the movie when we did; if we had not of pulled into that particular park instead of my favorite park... It all just adds up to God being in control. It's so crazy insane to think about. My God is an awesome God.

What do we know?

James and John, sons of Zebedee, went to Jesus. They said to him, “Teacher, we want you to do us a favor.” “What do you want me to do for you?” he asked them. They said to him, “Let one of us sit at your right and the other at your left in your glory.” Jesus said, “You don’t realize what you’re asking. Can you drink the cup that I’m going to drink? Can you be baptized with the baptism that I’m going to receive? - Mark 10:35-38

"You don't realize what you're asking" - I've been thinking lately about some of the prayers I have prayed. Some of them I have written down and I can revisit them. I look over them and I wonder if I really knew what I was asking for. How many times have I asked God to "use me" or "help me"? More than I can count. But did I really get what that meant?

The two sons of Zebedee did not really understand what they were asking for. They still thought Jesus as a political savior at this point, not one of souls. They just didn't get it. How often is that me? How often is that you?

I think a lot of the time, because our situations we go through, we have wrong perspectives about God. This is not to say I have the right one since I too have a damaged view, but I think that often, we need clarity on just who God is and what He is like. If we know what He is like, what He is really about, and what He really expects of us, it makes it a bit easier for us to understand just what we are getting ourselves into when we utter the powerful prayers that we do, like "use me"

Here is an anonymous thing I found not too long ago that sort of explains what all I am talking about:

I asked God to take away my pride. And God said, "No." He said it was not for Him to take away, but for me to give up.
I asked God to make my handicapped child whole. And God said, "No." He said her spirit was whole, her body was only temporary.
I asked God to grant me patience. And God said, "No." He said patience is a by-product of tribulations. It isn't granted, it is earned.
I asked God to give me happiness. And God said, "No." He said He gives me blessings, happiness is up to me.
I asked God to spare me pain. And God said, "No." He said suffering draws me apart from worldly cares and brings me closer to Him.
I asked God to make my spirit grown. And God said, "No." He said I must grow on my own, but He will prune me to make me fruitful.
I asked for all things that I might enjoy life. And God said, "No." He said He will give me life that I may enjoy all things.
I asked God to help me love others, as much as He loves me. He said, "Ah, finally you have the idea!"

Reminiscent Room

This picture just brings about a sad notion for me. It reminds me of a waiting room. Not really of a hospital, but just that mental waiting room where we hear bad news but hope and pray and wait for it to be cruel joke or just somehow untrue. I remember when my best friend died, when I found out one of my close friends had been abused, when some people I know were diagnosed with cancer... I remember wishing it were all a lie and that things could just go back to the easy comfortable life I was, just five seconds ago, used to. But life can never go back. Only forward. Sometimes I hate that so much. This picture makes me want to go back to a certain time, over a decade ago, and just restart from there. Things could be so different.