Love changes you. I'm not speaking merely of that superficial crap they call love these days. No, I mean the deep stuff. The stuff that can only come from a God-fearing soul. It has a way of mending the soul, soothing our beasts, and motivating us to act in bold and courageous ways.
I read this book, Redeeming Love, and the man in it named Michael Hosea gives a brilliant and vivid image of God's love for us. This man's love for his seemingly broken-beyond-repair wife is so moving and beautiful that it actually provokes tears to fall from my eyes. The incredible thing is, that's barely even a glimpse into the love that God has for us.
I feel unworthy of God's love, I feel distant from God, I feel too used and broken to even speak His name at times. But love covers all. It redeems. It heals. It forgives. It makes clean. I don't know what some churches are smoking when they only preach about the end of time or just the cross itself without the resurrection... but there's more. There's redemption, there's hope, and above all, there's love. A beautiful love that, like that story I mentioned, will bring tears to your eyes.
To many, this love seems far-fetched and unobtainable. Many will deny such a love exists. Still others may acknowledge it, but then deny they could ever have such a love. Contrary to both, that Love exists and will penetrate to the darkest of places if given the chance. Furthermore, it's available for anyone who seeks it.
I am redeemed. I am forgiven. I am loved.
"Listen to the Lord, O Israel, the one who formed you says, 'Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are Mine... Others were given in exchange for you. I traded their lives for yours because you are precious to me. You are honored, and I love you." Isaiah 43:1, 4
18 July 2010
15 July 2010
"You are God's critic, but do you have the answers?" Job 40:2
I have several friends right now going through some tough things and unimaginable pain. A few of them, who do believe in God or something like Him, have come to a conclusion: that God does not intervene in our lives; He doesn't care. I thought about this a while and the more I thought, the more their conclusions seemed unlikely.
I'm a believer in the validity of the Bible so that's where I went to seek some sort of guidance on the matter. Here's what I found.
All throughout the old testament, God intervenes for Israel. He saves them, spares them, rebukes them, calls to them, redeems them. A couple examples of God's intervention in the OT:
In 1 Samuel 8:19-21 the people of Israel cried out for a king. God knew they didn't need a king, but for several reasons, obliged the great nation of Israel.
In Hosea, the entire book, God is actively pursuing the heart of Israel. In 2:14, He states that He will "win her back. I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her." A god who doesn't care enough to intervene surely wouldn't try to win back the hearts of His people.
After flipping around the OT a bit, it seemed necessary to likewise look into the new testament. I didn't have to go far. Jesus is God's son. He is God in the flesh. If these two statements are true, then Jesus is someone we can look to so as to see a representation of God in all aspects, including how He intercedes in our lives.
In Matthew 8:2-3, a man with a skin disease comes up to Jesus and asks Him to make him clean (or cure him, in our terms). The man asks, adding on "if you're willing" and Jesus replies that He would indeed heal the man. He didn't have to, but the mans simple asking in faith and assurance alone prompted Jesus' healing.
A bit further down in Matthew 8:5-9 & 13, a soldier walks up to Jesus asks Him to heal his dying servant at home. Like the previous man, he came to Jesus with and asked with faith and assurance in Him. In verse 13, we're told the soldier's servant is healed.
There's another example of this in 8:14-18, with Peter's mother-in-law and others. And then again in 8:23-27 where Jesus intervened in a severe storm. The gospels are filled with this sort of stuff, as if Jesus' crucifixion weren't enough proof of God's intervention.
There are a couple things I noticed about almost all of these examples, Old and New Testament alike. First, God/Jesus intervened when asked to by mere humans. He had the power, authority, and right to deny all requests but for reasons known to Him, granted the requests.
Another commonality between those times when asked to intervene is that those who asked, they asked in faith. They didn't question the logistics of such a requests, they didn't hesitate to approach God, instead they asked for what they thought they needed at the time. While God can deny us sometimes, it doesn't mean He always will.
Finally, I notice is that God doesn't always wait for us to ask before He intervenes. Sometimes He knows best, like with Israel in Hosea, and we can't understand it, but He is there in the midst of it all. Israel was perfectly content, most of the time, with doing things their way with no input from God, but out of love, God did what was best.
God owes us nothing, but He gave us everything. He cares. He's here. He can't "not" be.
I'm a believer in the validity of the Bible so that's where I went to seek some sort of guidance on the matter. Here's what I found.
All throughout the old testament, God intervenes for Israel. He saves them, spares them, rebukes them, calls to them, redeems them. A couple examples of God's intervention in the OT:
In 1 Samuel 8:19-21 the people of Israel cried out for a king. God knew they didn't need a king, but for several reasons, obliged the great nation of Israel.
In Hosea, the entire book, God is actively pursuing the heart of Israel. In 2:14, He states that He will "win her back. I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her." A god who doesn't care enough to intervene surely wouldn't try to win back the hearts of His people.
After flipping around the OT a bit, it seemed necessary to likewise look into the new testament. I didn't have to go far. Jesus is God's son. He is God in the flesh. If these two statements are true, then Jesus is someone we can look to so as to see a representation of God in all aspects, including how He intercedes in our lives.
In Matthew 8:2-3, a man with a skin disease comes up to Jesus and asks Him to make him clean (or cure him, in our terms). The man asks, adding on "if you're willing" and Jesus replies that He would indeed heal the man. He didn't have to, but the mans simple asking in faith and assurance alone prompted Jesus' healing.
A bit further down in Matthew 8:5-9 & 13, a soldier walks up to Jesus asks Him to heal his dying servant at home. Like the previous man, he came to Jesus with and asked with faith and assurance in Him. In verse 13, we're told the soldier's servant is healed.
There's another example of this in 8:14-18, with Peter's mother-in-law and others. And then again in 8:23-27 where Jesus intervened in a severe storm. The gospels are filled with this sort of stuff, as if Jesus' crucifixion weren't enough proof of God's intervention.
There are a couple things I noticed about almost all of these examples, Old and New Testament alike. First, God/Jesus intervened when asked to by mere humans. He had the power, authority, and right to deny all requests but for reasons known to Him, granted the requests.
Another commonality between those times when asked to intervene is that those who asked, they asked in faith. They didn't question the logistics of such a requests, they didn't hesitate to approach God, instead they asked for what they thought they needed at the time. While God can deny us sometimes, it doesn't mean He always will.
Finally, I notice is that God doesn't always wait for us to ask before He intervenes. Sometimes He knows best, like with Israel in Hosea, and we can't understand it, but He is there in the midst of it all. Israel was perfectly content, most of the time, with doing things their way with no input from God, but out of love, God did what was best.
God owes us nothing, but He gave us everything. He cares. He's here. He can't "not" be.
06 July 2010
Freedom or Not
I've been asked "What is freedom?" and to that I have come up an answer. I've been asked "Does responsibility come with freedom?" and again, I came up with some answer off the top of my head. I've asked myself recently "Are we ever really free?" and I'm going to try to find an answer now.
Contrary to many people, I am not so sure we ever really have freedom (but I am thinking this through as I type so perhaps my thought will change). The way I see it is: we're all a slave, or bound, by something. For Christians, it is Christ. For other religions, it is the moral code or deity. For non-believers, or anyone else riding the fence, aren't they still bound by things? I'd think so. Maybe it's pride, vengeance, anger, sex, love, other material things... etc.
So is there freedom? The definition of the word is: the state of not being imprisoned or enslaved. However, by my thought above, are we not all the very opposite of that? Looks that way to me. You can say you're free to do whatever you want, but it seems like you're, we're, still bound by something.
Hmm, all right, maybe we have to be bound by something. Maybe that's just the way humans are? Perhaps. Or maybe, by being bound by something we can find some sort of freedom? That freedom that we all seem to desperately seek. That seems a more probable thought.
Let me take my faith for a test ride here: I believe in God, Christ, the Holy Spirit, and in the truth of the Bible. The Bible, God's Word, is truth; truth is said to set one free. By choosing to bind myself to the law of Love found within the Bible, accepting the Holy Spirit, and following Christ's example, I may be bound to those things but because it is truth, I am free.
Okay then. So can I say that we can be free but only as Christians? Do other things bring freedom when bound to them? -shrugs- I dunno, does anything else say, and prove, that it can provide freedom in such a way as the truth and love of Christ? Beats me.
I am quite aware that this thought process begets many more questions that must be answered for a full understanding of any answer to my primary question and perhaps in time I will have a more thorough understanding of the concept at hand in some sort of entirety.
Contrary to many people, I am not so sure we ever really have freedom (but I am thinking this through as I type so perhaps my thought will change). The way I see it is: we're all a slave, or bound, by something. For Christians, it is Christ. For other religions, it is the moral code or deity. For non-believers, or anyone else riding the fence, aren't they still bound by things? I'd think so. Maybe it's pride, vengeance, anger, sex, love, other material things... etc.
So is there freedom? The definition of the word is: the state of not being imprisoned or enslaved. However, by my thought above, are we not all the very opposite of that? Looks that way to me. You can say you're free to do whatever you want, but it seems like you're, we're, still bound by something.
Hmm, all right, maybe we have to be bound by something. Maybe that's just the way humans are? Perhaps. Or maybe, by being bound by something we can find some sort of freedom? That freedom that we all seem to desperately seek. That seems a more probable thought.
Let me take my faith for a test ride here: I believe in God, Christ, the Holy Spirit, and in the truth of the Bible. The Bible, God's Word, is truth; truth is said to set one free. By choosing to bind myself to the law of Love found within the Bible, accepting the Holy Spirit, and following Christ's example, I may be bound to those things but because it is truth, I am free.
Okay then. So can I say that we can be free but only as Christians? Do other things bring freedom when bound to them? -shrugs- I dunno, does anything else say, and prove, that it can provide freedom in such a way as the truth and love of Christ? Beats me.
I am quite aware that this thought process begets many more questions that must be answered for a full understanding of any answer to my primary question and perhaps in time I will have a more thorough understanding of the concept at hand in some sort of entirety.
04 June 2010
No Satisfaction
There's no satisfaction here.
There's no satisfaction in having everything I want.
There's no satisfaction in having the shoes on my feet.
There's no satisfaction in having the clothes on my back.
There's no satisfaction in having food in my stomach three times a day.
There's no satisfaction in having this computer in front of me.
There's no satisfaction in having a car to drive.
There's no satisfaction in Facebook.
There's no satisfaction in the money I have.
There's no satisfaction in my school.
There's no satisfaction here tonight.
How can there be?
How can I be satisfied when a hunger thrives within me?
A hunger deeper than food can reach.
How can I be satisfied when there are people who need help?
Who need my food more than me?
Who need my water more than me?
Who need my blankets more?
Who need my shoes more?
Who need my clothes more?
Who need my shelter more?
There is no satisfaction here tonight.
There's no satisfaction in having everything I want.
There's no satisfaction in having the shoes on my feet.
There's no satisfaction in having the clothes on my back.
There's no satisfaction in having food in my stomach three times a day.
There's no satisfaction in having this computer in front of me.
There's no satisfaction in having a car to drive.
There's no satisfaction in Facebook.
There's no satisfaction in the money I have.
There's no satisfaction in my school.
There's no satisfaction here tonight.
How can there be?
How can I be satisfied when a hunger thrives within me?
A hunger deeper than food can reach.
How can I be satisfied when there are people who need help?
Who need my food more than me?
Who need my water more than me?
Who need my blankets more?
Who need my shoes more?
Who need my clothes more?
Who need my shelter more?
There is no satisfaction here tonight.
01 June 2010
A Poem I Wrote
I wrote this a long time ago. It's called Night Dweller:
No longer shall I fear life
The behind is gone
No memories to miss
I face now this offer
To live while surviving
My heart moves closer to day
Further from the night
Waves of rest rush over me
Touching the deepest crevice of my soul
Sound of silence
Fear in my heart
I'm not the same
Old forever to be forfeited
No reason more have I to dwell
In the ever long streets of the night
No longer shall I fear life
The behind is gone
No memories to miss
I face now this offer
To live while surviving
My heart moves closer to day
Further from the night
Waves of rest rush over me
Touching the deepest crevice of my soul
Sound of silence
Fear in my heart
I'm not the same
Old forever to be forfeited
No reason more have I to dwell
In the ever long streets of the night
26 May 2010
God is Good
I can't sleep. I haven't slept a bit all night. This has become a normal occurrence for me but tonight there's a reason for it. I can't stop thinking about what just transpired less than two hours ago:
I met this man. He was man of 62, a former Marine who'd been in the Vietnam War, and he has a 39 year old mentally disabled son. This man's name is Jack. Jack taught me something tonight. Something really powerful. He taught me that God watches over His children. He taught me that God is in control. He taught me that even when I don't know what God has in store, it's going to be all right.
How did I meet Jack?
I was eating a 2:30am snack from McDonald's in a downtown park with a friend. Jack, with his cart, rolled by us. We offered him the third burger we'd bought (despite there only being two of us, we just, for some reason, bought three) and some water we'd just bought at the Speedway we'd returned the movie to (returning said movie was our main reason for being out so late/early). Jack found out we were Christians and he was thrilled. We all began to converse, but mostly we were interested in Jack's life. He told us about the church he'd been going to, about being in the Marines, about his son, and about why he was out at such and hour. See, we thought he was just another homeless man, but come to find out, he wasn't at all. He had a home, but not enough money or items or food to care for both himself and his disabled son. Jack's determination and joy in Christ was awe-inspiring. He was just so sure that God would take care of him. He was a happy old man and I immediately came to love him for his spirit.
My friend and I offered him a spare blanket we had in our car, an old military poncho, about $9 in cash, and some advice about where more water spickets were downtown. As our conversations wound down and warm goodbyes were about to be said, Jack asked if we could pray. He said he always prayed with new people he met if they would let him. He wanted God to be with us. Again, I was just blown away. So we prayed. He asked me to start, I did. And we went around our little circle, each praying and thanking God for His mysterious ways and praising Him for His provisions and asking for Jack's protection.
As we parted ways, I couldn't help but want to do more for Jack. My friend and I went home, which was about 4 blocks from there, and found some more bottled water and a few canned goods that wouldn't be missed. But when we went out to find him to give it to him... we couldn't find him. We drove for an hour around downtown looking everywhere we could think. But still, no Jack. How could such a frail man with a relatively heavy cart move so quickly? It was beyond us.
Now what are we gonna do?
We think we know how we can find him, and if it's God's will, we'll meet him again. In the mean time, if anyone who reads this could just say a prayer for Jack, that'd be great. Pray that God will continue to provide for our friend and Jack will continue to inspire people with his simple but profound ways.
And why is this whole ordeal so cool?
The thing about the encounter with Jack is that if just ONE thing that happened throughout my day had NOT happened, this encounter would not have happened. If I had not of went home when I did that morning; if I had not of gone to the lake and gotten super hungry thus getting food and renting the movie with my friend; if we had not of run later than normal thus putting back the time we took the movie back; if we had not of taken the movie when we did; if we had not of pulled into that particular park instead of my favorite park... It all just adds up to God being in control. It's so crazy insane to think about. My God is an awesome God.
I met this man. He was man of 62, a former Marine who'd been in the Vietnam War, and he has a 39 year old mentally disabled son. This man's name is Jack. Jack taught me something tonight. Something really powerful. He taught me that God watches over His children. He taught me that God is in control. He taught me that even when I don't know what God has in store, it's going to be all right.
How did I meet Jack?
I was eating a 2:30am snack from McDonald's in a downtown park with a friend. Jack, with his cart, rolled by us. We offered him the third burger we'd bought (despite there only being two of us, we just, for some reason, bought three) and some water we'd just bought at the Speedway we'd returned the movie to (returning said movie was our main reason for being out so late/early). Jack found out we were Christians and he was thrilled. We all began to converse, but mostly we were interested in Jack's life. He told us about the church he'd been going to, about being in the Marines, about his son, and about why he was out at such and hour. See, we thought he was just another homeless man, but come to find out, he wasn't at all. He had a home, but not enough money or items or food to care for both himself and his disabled son. Jack's determination and joy in Christ was awe-inspiring. He was just so sure that God would take care of him. He was a happy old man and I immediately came to love him for his spirit.
My friend and I offered him a spare blanket we had in our car, an old military poncho, about $9 in cash, and some advice about where more water spickets were downtown. As our conversations wound down and warm goodbyes were about to be said, Jack asked if we could pray. He said he always prayed with new people he met if they would let him. He wanted God to be with us. Again, I was just blown away. So we prayed. He asked me to start, I did. And we went around our little circle, each praying and thanking God for His mysterious ways and praising Him for His provisions and asking for Jack's protection.
As we parted ways, I couldn't help but want to do more for Jack. My friend and I went home, which was about 4 blocks from there, and found some more bottled water and a few canned goods that wouldn't be missed. But when we went out to find him to give it to him... we couldn't find him. We drove for an hour around downtown looking everywhere we could think. But still, no Jack. How could such a frail man with a relatively heavy cart move so quickly? It was beyond us.
Now what are we gonna do?
We think we know how we can find him, and if it's God's will, we'll meet him again. In the mean time, if anyone who reads this could just say a prayer for Jack, that'd be great. Pray that God will continue to provide for our friend and Jack will continue to inspire people with his simple but profound ways.
And why is this whole ordeal so cool?
The thing about the encounter with Jack is that if just ONE thing that happened throughout my day had NOT happened, this encounter would not have happened. If I had not of went home when I did that morning; if I had not of gone to the lake and gotten super hungry thus getting food and renting the movie with my friend; if we had not of run later than normal thus putting back the time we took the movie back; if we had not of taken the movie when we did; if we had not of pulled into that particular park instead of my favorite park... It all just adds up to God being in control. It's so crazy insane to think about. My God is an awesome God.
20 May 2010
What do we know?
James and John, sons of Zebedee, went to Jesus. They said to him, “Teacher, we want you to do us a favor.” “What do you want me to do for you?” he asked them. They said to him, “Let one of us sit at your right and the other at your left in your glory.” Jesus said, “You don’t realize what you’re asking. Can you drink the cup that I’m going to drink? Can you be baptized with the baptism that I’m going to receive? - Mark 10:35-38
"You don't realize what you're asking" - I've been thinking lately about some of the prayers I have prayed. Some of them I have written down and I can revisit them. I look over them and I wonder if I really knew what I was asking for. How many times have I asked God to "use me" or "help me"? More than I can count. But did I really get what that meant?
The two sons of Zebedee did not really understand what they were asking for. They still thought Jesus as a political savior at this point, not one of souls. They just didn't get it. How often is that me? How often is that you?
I think a lot of the time, because our situations we go through, we have wrong perspectives about God. This is not to say I have the right one since I too have a damaged view, but I think that often, we need clarity on just who God is and what He is like. If we know what He is like, what He is really about, and what He really expects of us, it makes it a bit easier for us to understand just what we are getting ourselves into when we utter the powerful prayers that we do, like "use me"
Here is an anonymous thing I found not too long ago that sort of explains what all I am talking about:
I asked God to take away my pride. And God said, "No." He said it was not for Him to take away, but for me to give up.
I asked God to make my handicapped child whole. And God said, "No." He said her spirit was whole, her body was only temporary.
I asked God to grant me patience. And God said, "No." He said patience is a by-product of tribulations. It isn't granted, it is earned.
I asked God to give me happiness. And God said, "No." He said He gives me blessings, happiness is up to me.
I asked God to spare me pain. And God said, "No." He said suffering draws me apart from worldly cares and brings me closer to Him.
I asked God to make my spirit grown. And God said, "No." He said I must grow on my own, but He will prune me to make me fruitful.
I asked for all things that I might enjoy life. And God said, "No." He said He will give me life that I may enjoy all things.
I asked God to help me love others, as much as He loves me. He said, "Ah, finally you have the idea!"
"You don't realize what you're asking" - I've been thinking lately about some of the prayers I have prayed. Some of them I have written down and I can revisit them. I look over them and I wonder if I really knew what I was asking for. How many times have I asked God to "use me" or "help me"? More than I can count. But did I really get what that meant?
The two sons of Zebedee did not really understand what they were asking for. They still thought Jesus as a political savior at this point, not one of souls. They just didn't get it. How often is that me? How often is that you?
I think a lot of the time, because our situations we go through, we have wrong perspectives about God. This is not to say I have the right one since I too have a damaged view, but I think that often, we need clarity on just who God is and what He is like. If we know what He is like, what He is really about, and what He really expects of us, it makes it a bit easier for us to understand just what we are getting ourselves into when we utter the powerful prayers that we do, like "use me"
Here is an anonymous thing I found not too long ago that sort of explains what all I am talking about:
I asked God to take away my pride. And God said, "No." He said it was not for Him to take away, but for me to give up.
I asked God to make my handicapped child whole. And God said, "No." He said her spirit was whole, her body was only temporary.
I asked God to grant me patience. And God said, "No." He said patience is a by-product of tribulations. It isn't granted, it is earned.
I asked God to give me happiness. And God said, "No." He said He gives me blessings, happiness is up to me.
I asked God to spare me pain. And God said, "No." He said suffering draws me apart from worldly cares and brings me closer to Him.
I asked God to make my spirit grown. And God said, "No." He said I must grow on my own, but He will prune me to make me fruitful.
I asked for all things that I might enjoy life. And God said, "No." He said He will give me life that I may enjoy all things.
I asked God to help me love others, as much as He loves me. He said, "Ah, finally you have the idea!"
18 May 2010
Reminiscent Room
This picture just brings about a sad notion for me. It reminds me of a waiting room. Not really of a hospital, but just that mental waiting room where we hear bad news but hope and pray and wait for it to be cruel joke or just somehow untrue. I remember when my best friend died, when I found out one of my close friends had been abused, when some people I know were diagnosed with cancer... I remember wishing it were all a lie and that things could just go back to the easy comfortable life I was, just five seconds ago, used to. But life can never go back. Only forward. Sometimes I hate that so much. This picture makes me want to go back to a certain time, over a decade ago, and just restart from there. Things could be so different.
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